I feel pathetic
I'm officially bummed out. I feel useless and pathetic. I feel as if I never made the right decision. All my decisions have been wrong.
: messing around with the wrong crowd
: messed up my thesis therefore postponing my graduation rites.
I feel as if ever since I met him, I made all the wrong decisions and ever since then I haven't been able to make the right ones. It's like he messed up my life when all along I was the one who messed it up for myself. How stupid of me to actually do that. Now, I feel like a total loser. I keep on turning down job offers when I know that I need a job right away to break away from this hell I live in. I know that it's part of job hunting where you turn down offers but sometimes I feel as if I turned down the ones that will give me a living I want. I'm not even sure if I'll be accepted at the company that I'm opting for yet I keep turning down job offers. The first actual job offer I would have gotten would have got me employed now but I didn't take it. Coz of reasons so unreasonable. I have become so weak. Weak in the sense that I'm afraid of getting hurt so instead of facing my problems, I run away from them. I can't fight back. I don't know how to fight back.
I don't know how I let someone ruin me emotionally that it affected me as a whole. Do you know what its like living in a world where people say things about you. People always commenting about you and sometimes these comments aren't even nice to hear. I had to put up with people saying how hagard I looked, how skinny I looked, how I spoke, how I acted.. Everything. There waws always comments on me being someone else. I lost who I was before. Now I can't even find myself. Among the crowd, I feel like a completely different person. I know who I am but I just can't find strength to bring it out of me.
I'm tired from my life. I'm tired from hearing discriminations, critisims, comparisons.. all those craps. I hate having to deal with people who keep saying what I should be doing with my life. Why can't they just let me live the way I want to. I hate persistent people. You know who you are. I hate being bugged and believe me when I get pissed, I really get pissed.
I used to say that I lived a life without regrets but I am a liar coz I keep regretting the mistakes I have made. All my decisions were wrong from the start.
: messing around with the wrong crowd
: messed up my thesis therefore postponing my graduation rites.
I feel as if ever since I met him, I made all the wrong decisions and ever since then I haven't been able to make the right ones. It's like he messed up my life when all along I was the one who messed it up for myself. How stupid of me to actually do that. Now, I feel like a total loser. I keep on turning down job offers when I know that I need a job right away to break away from this hell I live in. I know that it's part of job hunting where you turn down offers but sometimes I feel as if I turned down the ones that will give me a living I want. I'm not even sure if I'll be accepted at the company that I'm opting for yet I keep turning down job offers. The first actual job offer I would have gotten would have got me employed now but I didn't take it. Coz of reasons so unreasonable. I have become so weak. Weak in the sense that I'm afraid of getting hurt so instead of facing my problems, I run away from them. I can't fight back. I don't know how to fight back.
I don't know how I let someone ruin me emotionally that it affected me as a whole. Do you know what its like living in a world where people say things about you. People always commenting about you and sometimes these comments aren't even nice to hear. I had to put up with people saying how hagard I looked, how skinny I looked, how I spoke, how I acted.. Everything. There waws always comments on me being someone else. I lost who I was before. Now I can't even find myself. Among the crowd, I feel like a completely different person. I know who I am but I just can't find strength to bring it out of me.
I'm tired from my life. I'm tired from hearing discriminations, critisims, comparisons.. all those craps. I hate having to deal with people who keep saying what I should be doing with my life. Why can't they just let me live the way I want to. I hate persistent people. You know who you are. I hate being bugged and believe me when I get pissed, I really get pissed.
I used to say that I lived a life without regrets but I am a liar coz I keep regretting the mistakes I have made. All my decisions were wrong from the start.
:) weee neeeed to go out again some time.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:29 PM