A life less ordinary

I’m back. Only for a short while though. I’m still busy with my parents around. From the first day they arrived it was hectic. But I guess having them around is fine. It’s not every day for me to be able to go to the mall with my mom and scout for a dress for the graduation. I mean, I don’t get to spend quality time like my other friends who have their parents around them.

Some times my parents can really be hard to get along especially my dad. He’s not like other dads. He’s different. He’s like another sibling in our family. Another person to take care of. My mom has to always watch his diet and his health. He used to be a strict man, one that you couldn’t share jokes with. He was a dad who would come home before knowing that his kids would be asleep in their beds. And failing marks were a “no-no” for him. You’d get it from him if ever you got a grade that wouldn’t be what he wanted. Not many could talk to him. Not even my mom. The story goes that my mom was afraid of my dad and so were my other siblings. They made sure that they would be in bed by the time he got home from work. Even my dad’s siblings were afraid of him. He was a man who had authority. But all that changed when he suffered from a stroke. I still remember it. We were on a vacation in the Philippines. I was about 5 years old when it happened. I woke up and went downstairs to find out my dad was rushed to the hospital. I don’t know exactly what happened. All I know was that I come to the hospital and find my dad sleeping on the hospital bed in the hospital gown. My mom used to tell me that when the doctor asked my dad how many kids he had, he forgot about me. But after a few minutes, he remembered that he had 3 children. My dad had experienced a miracle. It’s not every day that a stroke victim will survive like my dad. Most victims suffer from paralyzation but my dad didn’t. He became the opposite of what he used to be. He became a kid at heart and in person. Now my dad is hard to handle. To be able to talk to him, you’d had to have enough patience to be with him. And you would have to learn to listen with his repeated stories. You’d have to let him do the talking. I don’t like people who don’t treat my dad with respect. I don’t like the “know it all” when it comes to talking with my dad. When you talk to him, you respect him. That’s what my dad taught us. Respect to ourselves and to others. He goes to church every day and prays. He is a great dad. I wouldn’t ask for more. He was always on my side when I would argue with my mom and I knew that if I asked my dad, he wouldn’t let me down. Everyone loves my dad. Because he is the best. I love you dad.

My mom. She has been through a lot. And when I say a lot, I really mean it. Imagine having to sacrifice being with your kids, not watching them grow up and only communicating with them through the telephone. Writing letters to them. She suffered the most in our family but yet she is still strong. She was able to raise all three of us with no problems that other families would encounter. All three of us finished college without getting into trouble or bringing trouble to the family. She taught us well even if she wasn’t with us all the way. I feel my mom’s joy knowing that her last daughter had finally finished school. Love you mom.

It’s amazing how we all turned up to be without the physical presence of our parents. All we had was their constant reminders on the teachings on how to live in the world. It is hard to grow up separately from any member of the family. Growing up separately created us siblings with different personalities that we can’t even think how the other will react. We have our different goals in life and different ways of growing up. We learned to be independent at such a young age. My parents raised us well.

Enough said about my family. I’m still jobless. And I feel frustrated but at the same time I don’t mind. My friends are employed now while I’m still not. And to think I was the first to apply at the company but I turned it down. I have my reasons. Reasons that only I can understand while others persist to find out.

Finally, I’m going to be leaving college life and graduate and be able to help my parents. I have so many dreams to fulfill for my family. I’m not even seeking happiness for myself. To be able to help out is enough for me. By this age, you’d think that I should be settled with a boyfriend but I’m not. Some guy passed out the opportunity to be with me. But I guess its right when someone comes along just to teach you to love but that person isn’t the one for you. He just didn’t teach me to let go. He didn’t teach me to be strong. Now, I learned to be strong but I don’t think I’ve learned to let go. I’ve just learned to neglect the hurt that I still fill. I’ve learned to become numb to the feelings that keep running through. I’ve learned to not care about those who want to care. I’ve learned to want to live alone for now. Just until I can finally overcome the hurt and face reality that I was not meant to love him but just to learn about love and what it really meant.

I’m being sentimental again. Enough said. A pleasant goodnight to all.