Sunday, January 29, 2006 

Words women use

ei readers, here's a litte something off the emails being sent to me..
maybe a little tip to those couples out there.. enjoy!

WORDS WOMEN USE
*****************
FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

10:13 PM | |

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 

Couldn't sleep

I don't know why sometimes decision making can be so hard and what's the hardest of it all is the after part. The things tha you have to deal with after you make the decision. When can a decision be right for you and when should it be for the best?

I suck at decision making. One because I'm never sure of my decisions and second, I don't know who to decide for. Honestly, in decision making, what are the things you have to think of before deciding? I can never say what because till now, I'm still undecided.

I'm undecided for so many things but they all narrow done to one thing. I'm undecided with my life. I'm not certain what I want to do with my life now. Everything just seems to be more messed up. It didn't get any better when I thought it would. Things didn't turn out the way I thought they would.

Day by day, I'm being bored by my life. My daily routine is killing me inch by inch. I'm becoming more and more depressed with the way things are now. I feel pathetic while I see myself staying put while all my other friends know what they want in their lives.

I realized that when we dislike an attitude of a person, we are actually disliking ourselves. Funny, coz when we don't like the person, we actually don't like something about ourself. When we judge a person, we judge our own characteristic.

Everyday, I wake up from a dream where I'm with people I know. In my dreams, I'm either running away or just staying. But this last dream that I had, I was helping others.

I thought that after college, things would be fine. I thought that eventually broken hearts would soon heal but I guess I was wrong. Brokenhearts never mend I suppose, they have scars to remind them of the past that made them cry. I guess no one does get over another. I guess no one does ever move on. I guess I'm done fooling myself that I'm healed because I never was. I just tried to fool myself to believing that I was moving on. And in the process of fooling myself, I hurt alot of people.

This is how it feels when you feel left out slowly, when the people you used to hang out with slowly have their own lives. I guess things never stay the same. Only memories stay.

2:26 AM | |

Monday, January 23, 2006 

Quotes from Sex and the City

Something I got off another email.. enjoy!!

Girls... listen up!!! We need to be reminded from time to time. :)

Inspired quotes from Sex in the City...


1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid.God does things decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship-take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

23. If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself-double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom-'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ..

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.

72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

1:20 AM | |

Saturday, January 21, 2006 

For the singles


This is something I got off from one of my emails... Kinda funny but it made sense...

And oh yeah, this is just for the singles out there.. If you're taken, skip this part please.. =)


Ilang ulit na bang nangyari sa iyo ito? Ngayon ang kasal ng pinsan mo. Heto ka ang ganda-ganda mo. Naghanda ka talaga dahil minsan-minsan lang ang okasyon sa pamilya nyo. Kadalasan sa mga lamay na lang kayo nagkikita-kita so ngayong kasal ng pinsan mo, gusto mo namang maging maganda at mapansin nila. Aba, napansin ka nga. Ganito ang tanong ng lahat ng kaanak mo sa iyo..."O ikaw kelan ka ikakasal?" "Uy, ikaw na ang susunod ano?" Parang gusto mo na sa susunod na lamay sila naman ang sabihan mo ng "Ikaw, kelang ka susunod?"
Huwag kang malungkot. Ito gusto nga kitang sumaya kaya sinulat ko ito. Hindi ka dapat malungkot dahil maraming posibleng dahilan bakit hindi ka pakinakasal hanggang ngayon. Hayaan mo silang mainip sa paghihintay. Basta kung okay ka, okay ka. Hayaan mo tulungan kita mag-isip kung bakit wala ka pa ring asawa hanggang ngayon. Naisip ko na 'yan eh. Ito ang sampung dahilan bakit wala pa.

> 1. Kailangan mong mag-concentrate sa career. Hindi na uso ang mga babaeng pambahay ngayon. Kalimitan meron ng tinatawag na career. Habang hindi ka pa tinatamaan ng palaso ni kupido, hamo na munang mag-concentrate ka sa trabaho mo. Kailangan mong ma-achieve ang full potential mo bago ka mag-asawa, kasi 'pag nag-asawa ka na, tanggapin na natin, iba na ang mga prioridad mo sa buhay. Lagi ng mauuna ang pamilya. Habang feel mo pang lumaban ng lumaban sa rat race at umakyat ng umakyat sa corporate ladder, huwag mong panghinayangan na wala ka pang sariling pamilya.

> 2. Masyadong mataas ang standards mo. Ibaba mo kasi ng konti, baka naman kahit si Rizal hindi ma-achieve yung standards mo. Tandaan mo, si Rizal kahit na bayani medyo babaero din. Walang taong perpekto. Kahit naman ikaw di ba? Meron ka ding kapintasan? Baba mo ng konti, yung makatarungang pamantayan lang. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng Richard Gomez eh Pokwang na Pokwang naman ang dating mo. Lumagay ka lang sa dapat mong kalagyan. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng kasing yaman ni Zobel eh ikaw naman eh pobre din lang
naman. Huwag. Huwag ganoon. Para kang g**o non. Baka naman naghahanap ka ng smart, na gwapong, mayaman. Ate, kung ganon ang hanap mo, malamang tatandang dalaga ka na talaga. Di lahat binibigay ni Lord. Di bale kung salat sa face value, babawi na lang siguro yung sa bait at sa talino. Kung puro face value naman, at salat sa kaalaman or masama ang ugali, manalig ka na lang na baka pag pinakain mo ng gulay tumalino or ito the best, lahat naman ng tao nagbabago. Pwede pa 'yan bumait.

> 3. Hindi ka lumalabas ng bahay. O baka lumalabas ka nga ng bahay, sa opisina lang naman ang punta mo. Huwag ganon. Sumama ka sa mga kaibigan mo, mag-mall ka, magsimba ka, mag-outreach program ka. Huwag mong panisin ang sarili mo sa bahay dahil wala talagang makakapansin sas iyo sa bahay. Mag-aral ka ng painting, voice lessons at Yoga. Imaginin mo kung magka-boyfriend ka na Yoga master? or di kaya, chef. O di ba cool 'yun? Magliwaliw ka sa bookstores, sa coffee shops, at kung saan-saan pang mataong lugar. Baka sakali mapansin ka doon.

> 4. Baka naman sobrang tapang mo. Oo nga naman, baka naman sobrang masungit ka at natatakot sa iyo ang mga potential suitors mo. Baka dapat kang maging approachable ng konti. Baka masyadong maangas ang dating mo imbis na matuwa sa iyo matakot. Baka sobrang independent mo, at parang mabubuhay ka ng wala silang lahat. Minsan may epekto rin 'yan. Baka sobrang talino ng dating mo pakiramdam nila mababara lang sila or baka 'pag pinadalhan ka ng love letter eh i-edit mo ng red ink pen. Magkunwari ka kayang t**** minsan-minsan, tingin mo?

> 5. Baka naman kasi losyang ka. Oo nga naman, mag-ayos ka paminsan-minsan kay lang kung pangit ka, pangit ka talaga. No amount of make up can change that. Pero at least pwede ma-enhance ng konti.

> 6. Baka naman hinahanapan pa ni Lord ng ribbon ang para sa iyo. Natatandaan ko ang sabi ng kaibigan ko. Blessing daw from the Lord ang mga girlfriends/boyfriends. O eh baka naman hinahanapan pa ni Lord ng magandang ribbon yung regalo mo. Kasi baka daw 'pag hindi maganda ang packaging i-reject mo.

> 7. Baka naman nagtitipid sa toll fee yung para sa iyo. Malay mo kasi taga-Norte yung para sa iyo eh mahal naman ang toll fee. Baka nagtitipid dumaan sa walang toll kaya medyo natatagalan.

> 8. Baka naglakad yung para sa iyo. Parating na 'yon kaya lang mahal ang gasolina so naglakad na lang papunta sa iyo. Besides, walking is good for the heart daw. Baka sa kakalakad naligaw na. Ito pa namang mga lalaking ito, hindi magtatanong kung hindi pakiramdam nila naliligaw na sila.

> 9. Baka naman sadyang torpe lang yung para sa iyo. Baka naman nag-iipon pa ng lakas ng loob o di kaya nag-iisip pa ng magandang tiyempo. Baka talagang hindi lang siya makapag-salita dahil sobrang mahiyain niya. Baka naman dapat makiramdam ka rin ng konti kasi talagang deadma ang dating nito. Baka dapat tinatanong ng unti-unti.

> 10. Baka naman talagang for single blessedness ka. Ipagdasal mo. Baka naman kasi pinapagod mo ang sarili mong kakaisip bakit you're still single eh hindi naman kasi marriage ang plan ni Lord for you. Paminsan-minsan magtanong ka kasi sa Kanya baka naman ikaw ang naliligaw. Baka naman ikaw ang nagtitipid. Baka naman kasi ikaw ang torpe. Baka naman kasi ikaw ang problema.

Gasgas man, pero sasabihin ko pa rin. Darating Din Yun. Kung para sa iyo, para sa iyo. Kahit iwasan mo, para talaga sa iyo.

11:39 PM | |

Thursday, January 19, 2006 

Download galore

Finally it's complete.. The Long awaited Puzzle that drove me crazy!

As we grow older, we learn that even the one person that wasn't suppose to ever let you down, probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once and it's harder everytime. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your bestfriend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing so fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take many pictures, laugh too hard and love like you've never been hurt, because every minute you spend mad or upset is a minute of happiness that you'll never get.

I thought unconditional love meant sacrificing and giving your all. That hope gives you strength to last. But I was wrong.Because when I loved him, I never expected that the pain ignored would one day make me hope no more. It hurt so bad, I almost died. I lost it all. I have nothing to offer him anymore. I'll never stop loving him, in a way as effortless as it may seem, my mere existence for him to be there if ever he'll need me, is enough to say I'm still loving him, unconditionally

Sometimes, the most important thing that we get from a relationship is not the guarantee of permanence but the lesson that we learn from it when it fails. It's not how much love we have received but how much love we have given. It's not how many tears we have shed but how much laughter we have shared. It's not how many times we were accepted but how many times we understood when we were rejected. In the end, it's not always how much happiness we have had because of love, but how much we have given that made others happy.

When I see him, his smile, his frown, those eyes, just everything about him.. I end up liking him just as much as I did before I stopped. I guess once you love someone, and admit it, there's no crossing back. It's a line that will forever stay embedded deep within your heart. Because once you have loved that someone, it doesn't go away.. you're forced to care.. And though how much you wish to prevent it, deep inside you know, he'll always be special.

When we love someone so intensely, we can go over our own needs and just unconditionally give all of ourselves to that person. We just give and sacrifice without expecting anything in return.. but just like a plant that will only survive for days without water and stand the harsh heat, love, no matter how true and strong it may be, will be short lived if not nurtured with the same care.


These are just quotes sent by some of my dear friends. Quotes that take up too much space in my cell so I transfered it here. Not only do I save space in my cell, at least others will get to read it and I don't have to forward it.
I spent the day online (as usual).. There's nothing much to do once you run out things to do. The puzzle's finished so I've run out more things to do. I'm on the download galore. Download all day. I'm actually fed up of the Pc! For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to hate my pc.

I had an interview at laguna yesterday. Alot were asking why I went there when it's so far away. I really don't know. I just felt like giving it a shot. But I doubt I'll be working there in Toshiba. Hello!?That's like a big company and I'm just a small shot at it. But as usual, my brother tried to encourage me to accept it when I get accepted. It's a great company daw and they pay big. That's what I hate about him, he meddles with my life when I don't bother him. I guess he means well but I hate it when he shows that he's better than me when he's not. If he was better than me, I wouldn't be where I am now. He's weird. He doesn't want me applying too far away from home but he's pushing me to laguna. ER?

There are times when I want to apply for a call center as a TSR but then again, I argue with my own conscience. Damn it!I still can't make up my mind. Why do I feel so hopeless?


3:00 AM | |

Monday, January 16, 2006 

1-2-3 pass

Friday the 13th. The day that I took an exam at SPL, met my friends at ortigas and had dinner at Yellow Cab. It felt weird eating at Yellow cab. I guess it always feels weird when there are memories lingering around you to remind you of the past. I guess no matter how hard you try, you can never forget the past. Even if you try to forget about the painful ones and treasure the sweet moments, there will always be a time when you will remember both. I had fun during dinner. Though it was an awkward situation because it was a treat from mehrey, it felt weird that I wasn't shouldering any expenses. I felt helpless that even the fair to get there, she paid for me. I will eventually pay her back.

After dinner, we headed off to Libis where we met shen and hung out at starbucks. And again, memories kept hanging around me. For the first time in my starbucks history, instead of ordering the usual Rhumba Frap.. I went an ordered a Vanilla Cream. For some apparent reason, I wanted to drink that instead.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and stories of what's been going on in everyone's daily life. And this time, I didn't have anything to share. Nothing at all. It was this point where all my friends did the talking and I would just listen. At one point, I wanted to just go home. But then again, I just sat there and listened.

I smoked that night. Just two sticks. For no reason but then I stopped. I guess when you're away from home, you tend to do things just to let out frustrations. When it was time to go home, I went home with mary and april. I was quiet the whole evening after pril kinda said something that offended me. But she's my friend and friends make mistakes. Before going to sleep, mehrey and me started talking. nothing new, just the usual talks about what ifs and what's been done.

The next day we went to jerome's place. He was having an after celebration of his bday on turning 21. At his place, it was joie(his gf),jozzel,pril,mehrey,me,gerald,coach,labo,kabayan and his mom. Things started to turn out fun when we started to play card games and all ganged up on labo. Hehe.. I didn't play much of pusoydos(is this how you spell it??).. I was more of the tong-its person. I got it from my dad. Anyways, after playing a couple of pusoydos, we started playing other card games that got everyone in. We started playing 1-2-3 pass. The loser would have to take one shot of baileys with a mixture of gin. I lost 5 games straight in a row but I only drank 3 shots, the other two was taken by my other collegues. Naawa sa akin... I was going home to cavite that day and it was only 5pm when we started. By the rate I was going, I would have been drunk.But after that, we shifted to other games similar to 1-2-3 pass. WE left the place almost by 7pm and headed off home. AS usual, I was asleep in the bus, guess I was tired.

I spent the rest of the night chatting with people the way I usually do but then I was too tired to go on so I turned in by 2am and woke up 4pm the next day. Guess I was just catching up on my sleep.

Finally I finished downloading the FRIENDS episode, the last part.It made me cry...

Anyways, I have nothing else to share and I've been getting a migraine..Good nyt!


I have no memories of you. Just the sound of music and the softness of the fur. Just the paper bag with your writings and the quotes being forwarded. I don't have the conversations we used to have. I can no longer read them to laugh at some of the conversations with you.

It's time to say goodbye.It's time to move on and learn to climb back up.

1:24 AM | |

Friday, January 13, 2006 

Puzzle is finished... hehehe

I am getting bored by the day. The only reason why I go online is to download the last episode of friends. And its taking bloody long. What can I do about it?I'm only on a dial up connection. I'm broke so I can't go out and all my friends are at work. It's really different when you're done with school. You can really feel the difference. The big diff is money. When you're done with school, you have to start earning for money, unlike during the school days, you were given money. I want to go back to school!

It's dong's birthday today.. Happy birthday kuya(not my real brother). Thanks to him, I somehow got console from what I went through. heheh.. I've cried to him over the net.Salamat uli!

I have an exam at SPL. But I doubt I'll get the position. I mean, the ones who are there are like genius ones and I'm just the average. But it's worth a shot.I lost my chance at microsoft coz they said that I was over qualified. I didn't think that being an overqualified applicant would be one of the reasons why I couldn't get a job. Oh well, that's the employment life.

The puzzle is almost finished( like what I would say in the previous entries...). Let's say that there are only 50 pieces left.. Sana walang nawawala kung hindi ako yung magwawala!

I miss my bestfriend yassou.Where are you!!!hehe.. busy with her lovelife cguro...

as of 1:30 in the morning of jan 13.. im still up.. I just finished sending online application to a couple of companies. I figured that I'm wasting my time waiting. So while waiting for the right company to come,why not work for others. At least I'll be useful not only to the company but to this freakin' household as well.. I've realized that I can't keep wasting such good opportunities for the wrong reasons so I'm going ahead and accepting whatever comes my way. I have an exam today and I'll still up. I guess I'm not really sleepy and I have alot on my mind.

The Puzzle is finally finished. Thanks to kuya rey and me.. hehehe.. we just jept fitting all the pieces until there was no more to fit.. hehe.. now the problem is where to put it. Definitely not in the box again because I didn't spend days on the puzzle just to see it go back into the box.

I guess slowly each day, I'm realizing alot in life. I'm realizing how sometimes you need to wake up from all of the things happening in your life. I used to say that I needed to wake up and I thought I did but then again, I didn't change much since that day. So now I finally am waking up slowly. I guess my wake up call were a couple of things..

1. My friends were going to japan without me
2. I am running out of things to do at home.
3. I am pitying my brother everyday and I don't like that.
4. I'm 20 years old and I still live under the same roof with my brother which wasn't my plans to begin with.
5. All of my friends are slowly getting employed and I'm wasting all the opportunities...
6. I have to prove something to myself.
7. There needs to be some rules to be set in my life.

No more letting others tell me what to do and how to do it. They are there to show me my options. I'm done listening to people telling me what I should do and should not do. But don't get me wrong. I'm not angry with them telling me what's right and what's wrong. It's just that maybe the next time I talk with people, We'll be talking about the right things that I've been doing and not the wrong. I was feeling sorry for myself the other day coz I felt useless and pathetic for some reason. I kept comparing myself to others when I know that I shouldn't be so.. but then, I know that feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere. It's what yass said that kinda woke me up from that state..

enough of the could-have-been's...

and

doing something, or anything for that matter, is much better than doing nothing...

now thats what you call a bestfriend.. one who isnt always present but knows when to smack me in the head.. hehehe

thanks yass and good luck with your thesis.. i know you can do it..

and here's another one from austin..

work smart, not hard. hehe

1:45 AM | |

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 

SPIKE


Everyone... I'd like you all to meet Spike.. my guardian by night, my companion by day.. hehehe..

Well, the puzzle is almost finished. Give it a week or less and it's almost done. I downloaded an album of Ultraelectromagnetic Jam .. songs of which I never used to listen to before but now exist as one of my playlists. A sudden change for my taste in music.

I was able to watch TV today without any interruptions from anyone.. hehehe.. I was able to enjoy the cable again.

Schedule on the cable that grabs my attention every
TUESDAY - Charmed - The OC - Tru Calling
THURSDAY - Scrubs

Other shows on my list..

Dr. House(just recently)
CSI(all 3)
Las Vegas
8 Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughters
Friends(RE-runs)
Totally Spies(What can I say?!I'm still a kid at heart)
Kim Possible
That's so Raven
The Suite life of Zach and Cody
Gilmore girls
Will and Grace

and other stuff on the National Geographi Channel and Animal Planet and Discovery.. I didn't know the shows could be interesting..

I didn't think that one of the reasons why I can't land a job would be because I was overqualified... I didn't think I would be part of that category... The business world is a strange place after all and I didn't know that my brother would want an opinion of work from me.. He actually scheduled to talk with me about him deciding on his work.. The world is spinning at a weird area now. Things are actually changing... And the one thing I hate is Change but can't do anything about it except deal with it. Some change can do you good while others can scare you...

There's one thing I learned from my never ending journey in life. It's that no matter how hard you try.. you still have to learn to climb up on your own. Sure you have friends around but they can't always be there when you need them. They can only support you. Though you've been together for such a long time, there will come an instance when you can't depend on them to be there when you need them to be. It's the thing that I practice in friendship. I may not always be there physically but I'll be there. But I never thought it would actually happen until recently when I realized that "change" will forever be my enemy and my friend at the same time.

The world changes just as the way people do. Things you didn't think would happen actually happens. People you didn't expect to change will change. And the only thing you have with you is yourself and the memories of those that have changed. I guess I was always used to having my friends around me all the time that I never imagined they would one day not be around me. I know for a fact that I also changed. The effect of me changing however may have had the same effect on others. Life may not be cruel after all. The things I encounter could already have happened with another individual.

And I don't think I made sense with what I just typed. My sickness, just saying what comes in my mind. I love the sound of the keyboard clicking everytime I type a word or a sentence.

And now back to the real world.

2:35 AM | |

Monday, January 09, 2006 

Boredom Kills

I have an interview tomorrow and what am I still doing up at 11:30pm?hehe.. simple.. I'm downloading.. I'm admitting that I'm an addict to downloading now. What can I say,music has become my frustration now. I wouldn't say it was my biggest frustration because I still don't know what it is that I could really get frustrated about. Hehe..

I spent the whole day asleep, downloading and finishing the puzzle that till now is still not finished.Don't go reacting!when you get to see the puzzle, you'll understand why it still isn't completed. It's like 1000 pcs and in shades of blue!

What have I done so far since 2006 started?
... I fixed my printer, I got rid of the blue lines appearing without the help of anyone(YEHEY!!!!)
... I've somehow managed to change the design of my blog but its still the same. I still have to learn the hard code of it. I know I can do it, I just need to get motivated to do it.
... I was able to give my dog a bath!the one who didn't like taking baths.. hehe
... I cooked my first meal this 2006.. its called chicken 1-2-3..
... I celebrated my hamster's first birthday!!!Hehehehe...
... I got a new keyboard with arabic letters on it.(guess where it came from.. haha)

This shows that I am totally bored here at home...

12:28 AM | |

Saturday, January 07, 2006 

addicted to BlogThings hehehe

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.
Shy and private, you yearn for security.
You take relationships slowly.
You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.



These are the nights when I have nothing better to do but take test after test.. hehe.. and its fun, you should try it too..

11:10 PM | |

 

What age do you act

You Are 20 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

10:42 PM | |

Friday, January 06, 2006 

What are the keys to your heart

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

10:13 PM | |

Thursday, January 05, 2006 

13 going on 30

Another entry for the insomniac person..

I just finished watching 13 going on 30. A nice movie I must say. It was about a girl making a wish and when she finally got it, she realized that not all things are worth being rushed into, or so the way I saw it. There was one line from the movie that made sense. You shouldn't regret your mistakes otherwise you wouldn't know what was the right thing. True. Though I neglect to admit, sometimes I regret the mistakes I've made in my life but I guess I have to learn to accept that the past can't be brought back and that you have to live with it. And not all mistakes are bad..

I can't tell whats the correct time for me now. I've been sleeping late again. My days are turning into nights. I could very well work for a call center and make money out of it. I was tempted to apply for a call center today. but then again, I held back. There's this thing they say that the first job you ever have should be related to your course so it would look good. Bloody hell..

Yass and all my high school friends are back to school. We were debating that school life was better, she voted not. She said it was better to be graduated from college to be able to live your own life. It may seem fun getting out of school but the thought of handling responsibilities and making decisions on your own is tough. I preferred school life. There, all you had to worry about was meeting deadline of projects and exams. But then again, in the real world, you don't have to stay up late to study for an exam and you don't have to sleep over other people's places to get the work done. In the real world, you hold your own rules. You live your own life. You can choose what to do. You have a life in short. There are benefits on both parties but I guess you wouldn't be wishing for the other life if you had fun with the life you have.

I don't have any new year resolutions anymore. I didn't even feel new year pass by. Like what mary said, it felt like another day passed by. I mean, by new year's eve, I was just seated on the floor waiting for the clock to strike 12 and say happy new year to myself and back to the puzzle. I was thinking how it would have felt if I were elsewhere.

I spent the rest of the new year day on the road to mary's new apartment which will hopefully be my place as well. But it was pretty small. Anyways, they invited me, actually forced me to go coz they were gonna have a small drinking session. By all means, we drank but the stairs to the roof top made it a wheee bit dizzy for me. hehe.. I became a blabbermouth that night and had straight english conversation with mary before turning in for the night. I got home around 8am in the morning while running into my cousin at mcdo in bayan. Spent endless hours on the damn puzzle that till now is still not finished.

And now, I'm up again at 3am without a clue as to why I'm up in the first place. I can't seem to go to sleep on time. I guess, it's become my habit to sleep on mornings ever since my programming days, which I hope to put into use one day..

Good night readers..

2:49 AM | |

Sunday, January 01, 2006 

New Year... 2006

2005 went by and now we're entering another year. This year may hold a lot of surprises. Some that can be enjoyed while others are gonna be cried upon. This is the start of a new life for me. And for everyone else. Its the time when the mistakes you've created in the past should stay in the past and be buried deep so the future would be clear ahead. That's my problem, I can never easily forget the past. But hopefully I will. Soon I hope to. The only things I want to forget about are the ones that left me in tears. Other than that, my memories with everyone is worth remembering. I'll remember the time when I didn't celebrate christmas and new years alone. I'll remember all the fun I had during my last college sems. I'll remember all the people that I got to know towards the end of school year. I'll remember my wildest adventures and my spontaneous acts. It's too bad I can't read back through my archives anymore. Somehow I lost them without remembering to keep a record of them. I guess I was absent minded to forget even those. And to think that there was so many memories there in my archives. It must be for the better. I've had treasured conversations with alot of people but I guess being in such a high-tech world, there are some flaws. That's why I always liked writing all my thoughts coz at least if I would ever reformat, they'd still be there.

This is my first new year celebration that felt so cold. Not because of the weather. Though I spent it with my brother, it felt different. I guess this is how it feels now. Something's missing from me and yet I can't find it. It's 4:17 in the morning and I'm writing a journal online. On our way home from my cousins place, I was thinking of how I would spend next year. Would it be like this year where when the clock struck 12 but my brother and me were just watching tv. I hope not,I hope next year it would be more fun. But as it turns out, I think my coming new years are just gonna be like this. I don't feel the festivity of the season anymore.

Year of the dog. I forgot what year I am.

Happy New Year my dear Readers. I hope your celebration was better than mine.

4:24 AM | |