Couldn't sleep
I don't know why sometimes decision making can be so hard and what's the hardest of it all is the after part. The things tha you have to deal with after you make the decision. When can a decision be right for you and when should it be for the best?
I suck at decision making. One because I'm never sure of my decisions and second, I don't know who to decide for. Honestly, in decision making, what are the things you have to think of before deciding? I can never say what because till now, I'm still undecided.
I'm undecided for so many things but they all narrow done to one thing. I'm undecided with my life. I'm not certain what I want to do with my life now. Everything just seems to be more messed up. It didn't get any better when I thought it would. Things didn't turn out the way I thought they would.
Day by day, I'm being bored by my life. My daily routine is killing me inch by inch. I'm becoming more and more depressed with the way things are now. I feel pathetic while I see myself staying put while all my other friends know what they want in their lives.
I realized that when we dislike an attitude of a person, we are actually disliking ourselves. Funny, coz when we don't like the person, we actually don't like something about ourself. When we judge a person, we judge our own characteristic.
Everyday, I wake up from a dream where I'm with people I know. In my dreams, I'm either running away or just staying. But this last dream that I had, I was helping others.
I thought that after college, things would be fine. I thought that eventually broken hearts would soon heal but I guess I was wrong. Brokenhearts never mend I suppose, they have scars to remind them of the past that made them cry. I guess no one does get over another. I guess no one does ever move on. I guess I'm done fooling myself that I'm healed because I never was. I just tried to fool myself to believing that I was moving on. And in the process of fooling myself, I hurt alot of people.
This is how it feels when you feel left out slowly, when the people you used to hang out with slowly have their own lives. I guess things never stay the same. Only memories stay.
I suck at decision making. One because I'm never sure of my decisions and second, I don't know who to decide for. Honestly, in decision making, what are the things you have to think of before deciding? I can never say what because till now, I'm still undecided.
I'm undecided for so many things but they all narrow done to one thing. I'm undecided with my life. I'm not certain what I want to do with my life now. Everything just seems to be more messed up. It didn't get any better when I thought it would. Things didn't turn out the way I thought they would.
Day by day, I'm being bored by my life. My daily routine is killing me inch by inch. I'm becoming more and more depressed with the way things are now. I feel pathetic while I see myself staying put while all my other friends know what they want in their lives.
I realized that when we dislike an attitude of a person, we are actually disliking ourselves. Funny, coz when we don't like the person, we actually don't like something about ourself. When we judge a person, we judge our own characteristic.
Everyday, I wake up from a dream where I'm with people I know. In my dreams, I'm either running away or just staying. But this last dream that I had, I was helping others.
I thought that after college, things would be fine. I thought that eventually broken hearts would soon heal but I guess I was wrong. Brokenhearts never mend I suppose, they have scars to remind them of the past that made them cry. I guess no one does get over another. I guess no one does ever move on. I guess I'm done fooling myself that I'm healed because I never was. I just tried to fool myself to believing that I was moving on. And in the process of fooling myself, I hurt alot of people.
This is how it feels when you feel left out slowly, when the people you used to hang out with slowly have their own lives. I guess things never stay the same. Only memories stay.
I don't exactly know what I want, or what to do with my life... I think that's what's making it livable. I don't want my future planned out... that be much, much, much more boring than not knowing what to do right now.
Cheer up... I won't say everything'll be alright... 'cause it probably won't. But, we shouldn't let that fact stop us from being happy anyway.
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:52 PM
you do have a point.. thanks!
Posted by
musicmaniac |
1:34 AM